How to talk to loved ones if you dont want to receive gifts

How to talk to loved ones if you dont want to receive giftsHow to talk to loved ones if you dont want to receive giftsLast week, I saw a series of Instagram stories fromMelissa Hartwig, co-founder ofWhole 30. Melissa shared her annualgift guide, and went into detail about how and why does doesnt give or receive gifts during the holidays. She decided over a decade ago that the gift-giving insanity of the holiday season wasnt serving her anymore. As you might imagine, her family wasnt super on board at first. Melissa shared advice based on how she had these conversations with her family. I shared some of her advice on my Instagram and got excited responses from people who want to incorporate the no gifts rule in their lives. This transition can be tough, especially if you have long-distance family and friends. Heres how to talk to your loved ones about it.Frame It Around Your NeedsThis is true when have any kind of difficult conversation. It always helps to use I statements, and frame the issue around what you personally need, notlage what is wrong with the other person. It helps the other person to be more receptive and less defensive to what youre saying.If you no longer want to receive physical gifts, tell your loved ones* why *that is. (Although if its because they are terrible gift-givers, maybe tell a small white lie to spare their feelings.) One of my friends who wants to end gift-giving wants to be clutter-free and minimalist in her home. That desire doesnt mesh well with receiving physical gifts every year. So she should explain to her loved ones that shes on a clutter-free journey and suggest alternatives to physical gifts.Propose AlternativesIve written before about coming up with alternative gifts that are more affordable or enjoyable. If you no longer want to receive physical gifts, you can suggest other options, especially if a loved one still wants to give you something. A great way to go about this is to spend quality time together instead. This c ould be a meal or some kind of activity.Just belastung week, I suggested to my sisters that we offer to spend time with our dad instead of buying him a Christmas gift. My dad buys himself anything he might want in the moment, so we are always scratching our heads when its near the holidays. A friend of mines mother gave her sister a gift of going out to lunch at least once a month for the entire year. I dont know about you, but quality time usually makes me feel better than a physical gift, anyway.Set Boundaries and Be ConsistentWhenever you set a new boundary, its going to take people some time to get used to it. This is especially true when its a boundary that seems strange to other people. (And in our Capitalist society, it is definitely viewed as strange to not want more stuff) If you have a loved one who gives you a gift anyway, thank them but take them aside later and remind them about your wishes. They might not think you really meant that you didnt want to receive gifts (who doesnt love gifts, right?), so be firm in your reminder.Be GraciousMelissa Hartwig mentioned this in her post, but sometimes there will be loved ones who just cant accept your gift-free lifestyle. If youve told them more than once that you dont want gifts, but they continue to give them, all you can do is be gracious. Say thank you and accept the gift. You have to pick your battles in life. If you dont want to have the items around your house, you can donate them or re-gift later.Good luckThis article was originally published on MaggieGermano.

People respond better to a fitness instructor who focus on function, not fat

People respond better to a fitness instructor who focus on function, leid fatPeople respond better to a fitness instructor who focus on function, not fatA trip to the gym can be mood-enhancing or harrowing for your self-esteem, depending on your mindset, the shape youre in, or oh, yeah what your fitness instructor says. Does she talk smack for an hour about how you all need to stop eating carbs and tone your glutes?A new study from Northwestern University study published in the Journal of Sports Psychology tested the effects that a body-shaming instructor had on womens mood and body satisfaction versus an instructor whose workout comments focused on getting stronger and fitter.203 college women took a 16-minute strength and conditioning fitness class and were randomly assigned to a class that featured reinforcement based on either appearance or health and strength.The students in the strength-focused class heard their instructor say things like, This class is intended to help you st rengthen your core muscles which are essential for initiating movement, enabling your body to do all the things you enjoy. There was no mention of weight loss.Meanwhile, people in the appearance-focused class heard, This class is intended to work your butts, guts, and thighs to get rid of those tricky problem spots, burn fat, and get you ready for summer.Perhaps not surprisingly, women were found more likely to feel stronger and better after themselves after the strength-focused class. They were more likely to feel ashamed after the appearance-focused one.Those who heard appearance-focused comments were much more likely to write things like ashamed and disgusted with myself, after the class,saidRenee Engeln, lead author of the study and professor of instruction in psychology in the Weinberg College of Arts and Sciences at Northwestern, in a release.If we want people to stick with exercise, we need to remove shame from the equation, Engeln added. This study points to an easy and cos t-free step that fitness instructors can take to make their classrooms healthier, more inclusive and more inspiring.

Your rude coworkers may be the reason you have insomnia

Your rude coworkers may be the reason you have insomniaYour rude coworkers may be the reason you have insomniaA new study that appeared in theJournal of Occupational Health Psychology analyzesthe wake of habitual workplace incivility.Workplace incivility is an extremely common workplace stressor, unfortunately, and I have devoted much of my work to understanding how and why incivility affects employees both at work and outside of work, study author Caitlin A. Demsky, an assistant professor at Oakland University, told Psypost.The old maxim, that warns us not to bring our work home with us, is typically aimed at those unable to amputate personal worth from their professional endeavors, but in this instance, Demsky and zu sich team mean to say in no uncertain terms that ruminating on the fraught exchanges that occupy your work week, is dismantling the gears in your circadian clock.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Sati sfaction, Neuroscience, and moreInsomnia is funded by an innumerable amount of tensions as it is, no need to succumb to ones that can be squashed, with a little forethought, and mental reconditioning.The abstractA review of 699 employees, saw insomnia symptoms rise in those that could not stop meditating on all the things that got them exercised at work. The authors of the study report, We find support for a moderated mediation model in which the association between workplace incivility and increased insomnia symptoms via increased negative work rumination was weakest for employees reporting high levels of recovery experiences during nonwork time.Employees that were able to psychologically detach from the hectic events that plagued their workdays faired much better, though the study did face some pertinent limitations. It was a cross-sectional study, which means it was derived from a representative subset, at a specific point in time. This makes it hard to identify an exact cause. m ora research would need to be done over the course of years to declare data that isnt just correlative.The hypothesis isnt exactly far fetched. It can safely be assumed, by us non-professionals, that thinking about side-comments, and out-right aggressions made by our coworkers cant be doing us much good. The authors implore firms to take office culture seriously as a start. To reduce toxic, nonwork outcomes based on hostile office culture, employers should establish a clear rubric for respectful and noninvasive discourse.Susan Heathfield is a management and organization development consultant who specializes in human resources issues. In a pieceshe wrote recently sheadvised managers on how to handle frequent disputes between otherwise competent co-workers. Early intervention is key.Too often, bitter long-standing conflicts are nourished by resentment. By identifying the base problem early, employees can work together to address it before the point of no return. Once the problem is i dentified and address, leaders should be sure to follow up. The proper handling of a single disagreement furnishes respectful communication for everyone. When the idea that conflicts can indeed be resolved is intimated, employees will be incentivized against submitting hurtful knee jerk reactions. Heathfield addsMost of the time, employees are allowing their emotions to override their professionalism. Your intervention as a coach and guide can help them move past the emotional aspects into solving the real, existing problem. Then, your employees will get along and you can create the harmonious environment at work that you want, too.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people